I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
