I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As shirtless as possible
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
