ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize