But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
