shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize