College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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