When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm really busy with my period
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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