i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
