the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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