I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize