it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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