You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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