I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
