My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You smell like stripper and shame
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
