i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
