you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he thought i was a dude.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
