Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
