I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
