Betty ford says i'm here all night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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