I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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