She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
