so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
