To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
