I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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