get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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