High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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