hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
