so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
