You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
