Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Randomize
