he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
