careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
