Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
