fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
