So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
