**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
