direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
