We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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