so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
