I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
