Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
