They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
