Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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