im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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