I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
