new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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