My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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