i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize