I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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