Who wears a wallet chain?!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
