i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
