Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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