Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
