Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
