"it" just moved
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
