i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
