i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize