he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
