Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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