You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
