I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
