i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I had to cum in my sink.
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