While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
