Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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