just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
