What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
