NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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