halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
