Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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