If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
